


Be Anyone But Yourself

by ceasefire



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: Angst, Anonymity, Community: kink_bingo, Glory Hole, M/M, Pre-Canon, Surprise Pairing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-25
Updated: 2012-10-25
Packaged: 2017-11-17 00:15:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/545385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceasefire/pseuds/ceasefire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Koujaku needed to get away from himself. Thankfully, he knew exactly where to go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Be Anyone But Yourself

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the anonymity square on my kink_bingo card.

It hadn't been hard to think of a place where he was unlikely to get recognized; he doubted even the most confident and strong members of his clientele would venture so close to the northern parts of the island. There were enough clubs and bars in other parts of the Ward to prevent anyone straying from the safer areas unless they were _wanting_ to get away from it all, to shed their identity and leave all it entailed behind them.

Thankfully, that was exactly what Koujaku wanted to do. To be anyone but himself, to be anonymous.

There were times when his emotions got the better of him, when the ink of his tattoos seared with prickly heat and he felt as if he couldn't keep his frustration in check. He couldn't risk inviting his clients back to his home, not when he felt like he was losing himself.

Not when he found himself unable to think of anything but flashes of gold eyes.

Gritting his teeth, Koujaku rounded a crumbling street corner and got his first look at his intended destination. It seemed like it was no more than an old industrial building, but the small, gaudy neon sign and the presence of security told him otherwise. Security waved him past -- there was no line, and since they didn't bother taking his sword, Koujaku figured he'd probably be needing it. The corridor to the main part of the building was dark and dirty and smelled vaguely of a strange combination of oil and alcohol, and the main bar area of the club wasn't much better. A few faceless men were hunched over a table in the corner, a small crowd of friends who look like they desperately wanted to be somewhere else were huddled close together on the dance floor, and every chair at the run-down bar was vacant. Koujaku took one of them, feeling eyes follow him across the room and then look away as he took his seat. That was what he wanted, and he felt relief flood through him as the barman approached him and asked him for his order.

Koujaku took a quick look at the stained drinks menu, and his eyes locked on a bright blue drink. Feeling his skin prickle beneath his tattoos, Koujaku found himself unable to speak and gestured to the drink instead. The barman slid it across the counter wordlessly and looked at Koujaku expectantly, expression almost bordering on suspicion. Koujaku held out his Coil for payment and nursed his drink for a few seconds while the heat drained out of the ink on his skin. When he did raise the glass to his lips and take a sip, the strong scent of alcohol filled his mouth and nose and he choked. He managed to swallow down the mouthful of drink with far more effort than it should have taken, and a second later the bartender was standing over him with a smug smirk on his face and pointing to the bathrooms on the other side of the room.

Koujaku walked as fast as he could without breaking into a run. His face was burning with shame and the taste of the drink was lingering in the back of his throat, but it was the ceaseless, aggravating burn that flowed from his tattoos that was making him feel nauseous. He could feel the heat down to his bones to the extent that he felt short of breath, and by the time that he stumbled into the bathroom and to the end stall his head was swimming so badly that he thought he was going to be sick.

Koujaku fell to his knees in front of the toilet and breathed deep, willing his body to either calm down or be sick -anything- that would make him feel better. He felt unspeakably hot, and he pulled the neck line of his kimono down and away from his shoulders to try and soothe himself.

Koujaku didn't know what was wrong with him, but it was enough to drive him to frustration, and the next time his tattoos burned he slammed his fist against the wall, taking some relief from the way the sound echoed throughout the room.

Panting through clenched teeth, Koujaku leaned against the wall and tried to calm himself, staring blankly at the wall until he realised that there was actually someone staring back at him.

Koujaku stayed still for just a moment, stunned, before he gasped in shock and stumbled backwards, away from the wall as if he'd been burned. There was a hole in the divider between the bathroom cubicles, and there was a single, sharp green eye staring at him through it. Koujaku licked his lips and stared back, wondering what the hell someone had been doing _watching_ him through the wall. If he hadn't just come in here to get away...

The eye moved away from the hole and was replaced by fingers, and Koujaku felt himself blush as a single index finger appeared through the hole and gestured for him to come closer.

_Did this mean..._

As if reading his mind, the person on the other side moved again, pressing his mouth up against the hole and poking the tip of his tongue over his teeth.

Koujaku felt his breath grow ragged, and he edged a little closer to the other side of the cubicle. Was this what he wanted? The heat running through his blood and his skin was making his head feel heavy, but there was still an irritating seed of doubt growing in his mind. It was tempting on a purely carnal level, but... was it what he wanted to do?

Should he even base his choice on what he usually would have done? He'd come here to forget himself, to be nameless and faceless and to leave Koujaku behind. Not to mention that the heat burning through his tattoos was getting almost painful, and he found his hands reaching for his waistband and pulling the lower half of his kimono down and out of the way.

He was already half-hard, but as he stepped forward, close enough to feel the stranger's breath on his skin, he felt his cock twitch from sheer anticipation, precome beading at the tip. He took the final step forward that he needed to take to bridge the gap between them, and he groaned reflexively as warm lips encircled the head of his dick and gave a long, slow suck. Koujaku braced himself against the wall, fingernails biting into his own palms as he resisted the urge to thrust forward; the stranger in the next cubicle was taking it slow, almost careful and hesitant, teasing him with soft licks and sucks to the very tip of his cock. Warm fingers curled around him for a moment, stroking over him and spreading spit and precome down the shaft to ease the friction. 

Koujaku groaned, shut his eyes and tried to ease the tension out of his body and just _feel_ ; no one would ever know about this. He was faceless, nameless, as was the person in the next stall. It could be anyone with their hand around him, anyone blowing cold air onto the tip of his dick and pressing their tongue against the sensitive spot under the head. 

It could be anyone he wanted, but his mind wandered, unwarranted, to bright gold eyes and long blue hair.

It would be like this, slow and gentle, unsure but eager to try, but it wouldn't be an act with the real...

_No._

Koujaku didn't want this, didn't want to associate what he was doing with someone he cared about who deserved better than this. That was the point of coming here; to get away from those thoughts.

The stranger's mouth slid off of his cock then and pressed soft kisses to the head with closed lips. Koujaku groaned softly, precome smearing under the pressure of the touch, and Koujaku felt his cock twitch when he heard the soft smack of tongue on lip as the other licked himself clean and then turned their attention back to him with another swipe of his tongue. A second later Koujaku jumped as slim fingers slipped through and traced the ink that ran down the inside of his hip, and a sort of white hot sickness suddenly twisted in his stomach. He shook his head rapidly, only to realise that the stranger definitely couldn't see him, so he took a few calming breaths to soothe his mind before he spoke.

"Don't do that."

His voice was still low and breathy and sounded nothing like himself. The fingers on his skin were gone in an instant, but so was the tongue that had been lazily brushing over the head of his cock. Koujaku hadn't wanted that to happen -- he was close enough that just the lack of contact was making him press forward in desperation -- but the muted groan that escaped his lips must have clued the other in because a moment later that mouth was back on him, taking in the entire length of his cock slowly, but with ease. Koujaku let out a shaky breath and resisted the urge to jerk forward, to try and feel it even more; he needed something rougher than this, something to make him forget and simply _feel_. Just as he was wondering if he'd put the other off of touching him properly, a rough hand curled roughly around the base of his cock and his ears caught the sound of something metallic, followed by the soft sounds of skin on skin. 

Something in Koujaku's lust-dimmed mind clicked, and the sudden realisation of what the stranger was doing made heat pool in the bottom of his stomach with such force that he was afraid he'd come right then. A second later, Koujaku heard a soft, throaty moan sound from the other side of the wall, felt the vibrations through the length of his dick as the other started sucking him again. It was faster this time, rougher, with just a hint of teeth along the shaft every time that mouth pulled back to tease the head of his cock. It felt good, better than he ever would have expected it to feel, and somewhere in the back of his mind, Koujaku realised that he didn't know who this person was, probably never would, that he could ask for anything and get it and not have to worry about being known or knowing in return. The thought sent a thrill of excitement through him; not only that, but whoever was doing this to him was positively shameless, getting themself off and moaning while they sucked him off, and it didn't even matter that they didn't know each other because the only thing that they would ever have between them was the mutual, desperate desire for release.

It was those thoughts that made Koujaku speak up, made him beg for it harder, faster, breathing ragged and body shaking as he got closer to the edge. 

"Please," Koujaku whispered; he wasn't entirely sure what he was begging for, but a second later he almost choked on his own breath when he felt something hard and small and cool press into the slit of his cock. The sudden change of sensation made Koujaku groan roughly, and the next time he felt soft pressure of lips and the hint of teeth sliding down to the base of his cock, Koujaku saw white. Every muscle in his body tensed and trembled as he came; the high so much more satisfying than he anticipated it to be, and the moment the stranger's mouth came off his cock with a slow, languid suck, Koujaku was stumbling backwards until he hit the opposite wall. He rested all his weight against it, breathing heavily through parted lips until his mind felt less clouded by lust and his legs stopped shaking from exertion. 

What the hell was he supposed to do now?

Koujaku reached down to tug the lower half of his kimono back into place, and just as he felt his mind becoming sharper, he heard a low hiss of pleasure from the next cubicle that sent a cold shiver down the length of his spine. Sick guilt washed over him, and he reached for the lock on the cubicle door thoughtlessly, swearing under his breath when his sweat-slicked fingers slipped over the metal. 

He opened the door so fast that he heard it hit the wall between the cubicles as he rushed out, not stopping until the music in the club drowned out the soft moans coming from the bathroom. No one looked or said anything as he left without a single look back.

Koujaku felt sick down to his stomach, dizzy and confused and still processing what had happened as he left the club, and it was only after he'd left the club far behind that he realised that no one would ever know what had happened.

He hadn't been himself. He had been anonymous, and no one would ever know.

* * *

Noiz hummed irritably as he jerked his cock, reaching up to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. He shouldn't have expected any better than what he'd just got. At least he'd been able to feel it. The heat, the pressure, the strength behind the motions. 

Too bad he hadn't been able to ask the guy where he'd had his tattoos done. Tattoos were something he hadn't tried yet.

Rolling his eyes in mild frustration, Noiz squeezed the base of his cock until he was sure he'd bruise, dug his nails into his flesh until he could pretend he could feel anything but the pressure. It was good this way, not having to bother with others. They would leave him alone, never bother him, never know who he was thanks to this, and it was easier to get off without worrying about the repercussions. He could let his mind go blank, let the dull curl of heat run through his stomach and not have to worry about anything but his own pleasure.

Noiz hummed and shuffled into a more comfortable position, stroking his cock and raking his nails across the inside of his thigh. He tugged on his piercings, sunk his fingertips into the head of his cock and stifled a gasp as he came, the bitter taste of the stranger's come still lingering on his tongue. Noiz fell back against the wall and gave a short, irritable sigh as he felt the feeling ebb away so quickly that he barely felt it at all. Better than nothing. Still not good. 

Sighing through his teeth, Noiz cleaned himself up, fixed his clothes and exited the cubicle, idly flicking the piercings in his tongue against his teeth and grimacing at the bitterness that lingered in his mouth.

At least he didn't have to deal with questions or awkward goodbyes when he did this. He didn't want to be involved.

It was easier this way.

**Author's Note:**

> I like to think that some time later, Koujaku and Noiz actually get together and Noiz recognizes Koujaku's tattoos. Koujaku freaks out for a solid few hours, and Noiz teases him the whole time.
> 
> Poor Koujaku.


End file.
